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We were driving home from James’ school this afternoon and he had one of his “just remembered something that happened a way long time ago that I wanna talk about again” moment. This one was about the tornado that hit the Perris area earlier this year during the crazy winter/rainy season.

James: Mommy remember the tormado (yes he pronounces it with an “m”) that you were in before?
Me: (being a bad Mommy and not listening completely because I’m listening to John & Ken on KFI 640) Yeah…”
James: How–
Me: Wait– what?! What tornado?
James: The tormado that you were in remember? How did it make your body feel like?
Me: I was never in a tornado, silly kid!
James: Remember you said there was a tormado that you saw and it pushed the train?
Me: Ohhhh, no the freeway that I was driving on, it had a tornado on it, but when I reached that area it was already gone. And yes, it pushed a train over so that was really crazy to see! Isn’t that good that the tornado had already gone by the time Mommy reached that area?
James: Yeah because your car would have flown in the sky huh?
Me: Yep.
James: And you would have gone to heaven!
Me: (uneasy chuckle) yeeeah, that could have happened.
James: Well when you’re in heaven do you stay there forever?
Me: Yep, when you go home to God, you gotta stay there.
James: Well if you go to heaven I can just ask God to give you back to me.

I think I switched the tone pretty quickly at this point, saying something like, “So yeah that train was SO big but it got pushed over anyway so that means the wind was so strong, crazy huh?!” And he forgot all about the previous conversation and went from there. I switched it over because the last time we had a talk about “death” and “dying” and “going home” and all that, he ended up in tears saying, “I don’t ever want to die because I want to stay here with you forever and I don’t want you to die either!” And that was like, a couple of months ago I think. It was then I realized he was way too young and didn’t have a real handle on his emotions yet to speak about subjects like that, although I had no regrets about trying to talk to him about it. This way I can see where he is emotionally and what he can handle, and that he at least understands somewhat what happens to someone when they’ve passed on.

This is definitely one of the hard parts about being a parent. The couple of months ago that he brought up death and he started crying as I explained about it, it just broke my heart. I couldn’t console him and tell him it was going to be okay and that it was all a part of life. He didn’t stop crying for a good five minutes, but I held him just as long, and even longer. I told him, “Trust me kid, I wouldn’t ever want us to be apart either. We have too much fun huh?”

And he looked up at me with his tear soaked cheeks dripping on my shirt, and said, “Yeah, I’m way too much fun to die!”

Ok so I was driving on the 210 this morning, talking on my phone to my friend and not paying attention to the road (what’s new right?), and this blue Honda passes quickly by me on my right.

And I’m like heeeey Jonathan’s on the 210 again! (Jonathan is a buddy of mine who, well, obviously owns a blue Honda).

So I speed up, and with a huge and incredibly goofy grin on my face, look right at the drivers side window of said blue Honda.

And to my horror it wasn’t Jonathan, but some weird curly headed guy that looked like he had been transported from the 70s — tight, pinkish collard shirt, big curly poofy hair — yeah the whole nine.

So because I have THE best luck in the world, he SEES me, sees my grin and immediately has that doofy “what’s up” look that guys put on their face, because for some reason they think they can look as good as Joey Tribiani on Friends. And I’m like ummmm neeeevermind and drive on keeping my eyes fully on the road. Meanwhile I can hear my friend cracking up in my ear because I’m so embarrassed and what else could I do but do a full play by play of my predicament to him??

Sadly the 70s guy kept driving up next to me for about ten minutes, trying to gain back my attention before he finally got the hint that it was all a mistake, and no way on this beautiful green Earth would I EVER grin like that at some random stranger in their car.

And that my friends was the hilarious start to my day.

And, yes I know, I’m a spaz with a capital LAME.

My baby boy has turned a BIG boy age of 6!! We are heading off to Disney today to celebrate and I’ll for sure have some super fun photos to share afterwards

Happy Birthday, James! I love you!!

*edit 9/22/08*
Some photos are up on facebook http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=159648&l=7fbb3&id=600685561

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people
mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

haha, those who know me know that I LOVE these latest ones:

The Canon EOS 5D Mark II full-frame DSLR

Please pardon me while I drool.

Oh man, it’s half way through September already and I am definitely feeling the burn. Several birthdays are fast approaching… Ronald, Big James, Molly, Nic, Jamers, and Mark… all in September. I’m also behind on some stuff again, and trying my hardest to catch up to this mad race that is my life.

James is actually enjoying his new school, which is so great because Chris and I have been anticipating a bad outcome for his first week. And now he’s entering his third and still is all smiles when I pick him up in the afternoon. Granted, I know there’ll be some tough days, but we’ll get through it as always.

I arranged with his teacher, Mrs. Price, to have a small little birthday celebration this coming Friday (Nic’s birthday, actually). I’ll just make it simple and bring cupcakes and punch and little giftie goodie bags. When we asked James what theme he wanted for his party this year, he said– in a very grown up kid’s voice– “I’m a little too old to have parties now, Mommy. Can we just go to Disneyland?”

I think he is emulating his cousin Franz, and how he doesn’t have birthday parties every year anymore. Franz is nine, lol.

Well, far be it from me to say no to such a great request! I did remind him that Logan will still be having a birthday party in January when he turns two, though. I am gauging how much jealousy might come out of that and he replied, “Well that’s ok, babies can still have birthday parties.” Well, alrighty then.

So off to Disney we go, on his actual birthday which falls on a Sunday this year. We’ll be celebrating Molly’s birthday too, which falls on the 18th, with a great group of friends who are coming along, and Nic and Mark will be there in spirit. We won’t be staying long of course, since he still has school the following day. Thank goodness for annual passes.

[have faith]

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. ”
Psalm 40:1

Thank You, Lord, not only for always being there to provide, but for giving me the strength and courage to always have faith.

Sometimes I’d like to buy one for James. Because time is going by faster than I’d like it to, and my Chubby Jubbers (apparently I’m not allowed to call him that now), is growing up faster than I’d like him to.

But I know it wouldn’t be fair to want him to stay a baby forever. I know long gone are the days when he would willingly let me put a plumeria flower on his head. He has years ahead of memories to make, happy and sad days to share, and I will be proud to be a part of many of them.

One such milestone happened today! His first day in the first grade, in his brand new school! And of course I had to snap some photos in the morning before dropping him off

He wasn’t *too* excited to be posing for me saying, “It’s too early, Mommy!”

Here’s his “ok, that’s enough” face lol

But he let me take just one more…

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…because even though he will inevitably grow up, I’ll always have these photographs of him as my baby Jamers to treasure for as long as God will allow me to.

And even this morning, I think I had more butterflies than he did, as we entered his classroom and said good morning to his teacher. And as I hugged and kissed him goodbye, he said, “It’s ok mommy, I’ll see you later again when you pick me up!”

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(P.S. And for those who are wondering from the blurred out spots in some of the photos, yes we put him in a private school. And I know some of you have voiced your opinions against them, but in all honestly, Chris and I are working our butts off to put him there and we couldn’t be happier. We started checking out schools in our neighborhood when he started in Pre-School. That was two years ago. And if you saw the over crowding, the horrible teacher to student ratio, the drop out rates (going into Jr High!!), and the lack of parent involvement in the public schools in our address range, well…. hopefully you won’t look down on us parents too much about our decision in our son’s education.

It was a priceless feeling that I wasn’t unsure or scared dropping him off at his brand new school as I headed out to work. I felt he was safe and secure and that he will learn in an environment we’re blessed enough to put him in.)

Enjoying a swim in Uncle Brian’s backyard with Chris and our buddy Jonathan.

(yes, camping photos still to come.. I told you I wasn’t laboring…)